The Australian Flu Pandemic of 2012

Old Man winter has not only pissed us off with his arrival during what we traditionally call our summer months, but he's also brought the plague with him.  Instead of the Spanish flu pandemic of 1918, we're calling this the Australian flu pandemic of 2012.

It all began nearly three months ago when the weather turned on a gloomy day in April.  The slight humidity vanished from the air leaving a chill in its wake.  The need to grab a sweater became more frequent.  Now this San Francisco girl is well versed in having a sweater in my purse, car, crook of my arm every season of the year, but even I threw the knit to the wind and embraced the ability to have sleeveless couture 24/7.  Next the wind picked up, and the birds grew quieter and more sparse.  Where did they go?!  They can't fly south for the winter, they would freeze mid-flight!  North for the winter?!  That's a new one.  And just as everyone in the US was defrosting from their winter slumber, and little noses were drying up, we were crossing over into the dark time.  Now let me preface my dramatic tale with, yes, I know it's not THAT cold here, just as it doesn't get THAT cold in Northern California either, but come on!  When you hear about Australia do you ever think of anything but sun, sand and surf?!  That's what a thought.

So let me be the first to inform you that it does get cold here.  In the early mornings it can be in the low 40's and it often doesn't rise above the low 50's during the day.  Granted there is no fog, or gray gloom.  It's either sunny and cold, or rainy and cold.  We've had some impressive storms though - so impressive that my beachside boot camp was cancelled, check it out!  

Back to Old Man winter who's grumpy ass not only brings temperate weather, but also illness.  I was warned by some American friends that the different, "foreign," germs down here might wreak havoc on our dainty American systems.  I took this with a grain of salt, or rather the eternal optimist in me felt positive about facing the "foreign" Aussie bugs.  They can't be that foreign this IS an English speaking country!  I was naive.

Without going into the gory details about our illnesses let's just say the Neti Pot has become a permanent fixture on our bathroom vanity and in Reid's bath time tea parties.  We've depleted our supply of children's ibuprofen, Theraflu, and more importantly, the night-time sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so-you-can-rest medicine is GONE and they don't have it here!  Everyone has their favored, go-to medicines and I can't find mine!  Thank goodness I smuggled a large bottle of prescription Codeine into the country which is still alive and well.  

After 3 weeks of struggling with a sinus infection that I took to the mats and won, I thought I was in the clear, but no, Old Man f'ing Winter had something else in store... It started with a simple, run-of-the-mill sore throat.  I ignored it, channeling Mark's approach, then paid it some attention by nursing it with some homeopathics.  After 4 days of war negotiations I threw up my white flag because it was taking me down and fast.  At one point I looked forlornly at Mark and in all seriousness said, "Mark, I think something else is wrong with me."  I didn't have any suggestions other than the flu of what could be ailing me, but I knew this is what some form of dying must feel like.  When all was said and done, I was in bed for 3 days with a 101/102 fever and on antibiotics for an ear and sinus infection.  Four days after I forced myself into a vertical position I started feeling like myself again, but only after I was involuntarily shape-shifted into Florence Nightingale because Mark capitulated.  Papa Bear was taken down, it wasn't pretty.  Bodi on the other hand was delighted, he had someone to laze with for a week straight.  The boys were delighted too, they watched a lot of Wild Kratts and Word World.  Other than sleeping and more sleeping we read and watched movies.  I finished the second season of Downton Abbey (LOVE), read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy (awesome trash), watched 4 movies with Crocodile Dundee toping that list ("That's not a knife, this is a knife."), and that's about it.  In general, it was a lost week.  Thankfully the boys haven't succumbed (knock on wood) to the Australian pandemic of 2012.  We're still crossing our fingers.  They have however had runny noses for 12 weeks with slight fevers thrown in here and there.  On the bright side, no permanent damage has been done and no lasting scars have been left.  My American friends haven't been so lucky; one is less her tonsils since arriving Down Under and the other endured sinus surgery.  Guess it's more exotic and foreign here than I give credit.  I should have listened to their warnings and not left the house.