The Fuzz

The Australian police have a power over their people that is unlike America's police.  I'm sure this is for a myriad of reasons that I don't understand, yet, but I'm assuming it has something to do with the justice system and the powers of a, "constitutional monarchy," which is the technical term for The Commonwealth of Australia's government.  Anyway, blah blah, the fuzz are scary here!

Before stepping foot on Aussie soil we were warned about the seriousness of "drink driving" in Australia.  I'm no hooligan, or dummy for that matter; drinking and driving is bad m'kay.  However, the .08 legal limit in CA always allowed me to have 2 glasses of wine at dinner and drive home with no concern.  Besides, a police officer in America can't pull you over willy nilly - they need a reason, a good one.  Well, not here.  The police can pull you over with no justification and give you a breathalyzer test.  The legal limit is .05 and I was told as a foreigner I would be kicked out of the country without question if caught driving over the legal limit - do not pass go, do not collect $200 - instead I would be put on an airplane and told to get out and never return.  Needless to say, we don't drink a DROP whenever we drive.

The first few times we saw RBT (random breathalyzer test) sites it was 8am on a Sat.  An RBT stop looks something like this, they have 4 to 5 policemen/women standing a car width apart with cones blocking off the site.  They wave cars in to receive an RBT and when the site is full the traffic continues.  Several times we've been the lot to pass the RBT when it's already full.  They also have the same locations where they set up shop on the same day of the week - decreases shock value.


Several months ago I thought my time of avoidance must be coming to an end.  I was ready to take on the RBT!  And I swore when it happened I wouldn't be nervous, because what do I have to be nervous about?  I don't drink drive - especially in the morning, kidding, never!  So one morning about 6 months ago I'm driving Reid to school at 9am and all of a sudden the fuzz was behind me with their lights on!  My heart started pounding and I began to ransack my morning haze to determine if I was at fault for anything.  On the upside, I knew I hadn't been "drink driving."  I pull over and the policewoman comes to my window and unfeelingly says, "License."  I hand her my CA drivers license suddenly aware that I'm foreign, and I don't 100% know that I'm allowed to drive here on my license - ooops, oversight.  She glances at my license, then at me with an irritated look and shoves a little gadget in my face and says, "Count to 10."  I do as I'm told because my fear of police is POWERFUL.  She stares at the gadget for probably 15 seconds after my countdown - although it felt like a minute - before saying, "You can go," and walks away.  OK, hold on!  I was ready for the RBT, but to be randomly pulled over and given a breathalyzer test at 9am?!  I felt like my rights were being violated!  Ah shit, what are my rights here...?

On another occasion I was waved in to an RBT site with both boys in the car and it was kind of exciting, for all of us!  It's like taking a test you know you're going to pass!  Then on another occasion I was old hat at this RBT thing, so I decided to get a little cheeky and sing Sesame Street's The Pinball Song as I sang my counting:

Now you're going to be singing that for the rest of the day :-)

Obviously holidays are busy times for policemen/women and RBT's are everywhere.  So on Australia Day the police were on alert - makes sense I know.  Days before Australia Day I heard a warning broadcasted on the radio that made me feel uneasy.  The emphatic, bold voice with a mix of anger and condescension filled the airways saying, "WE are out there watching.  If you drink drive we WILL find you and you WILL be caught.  If you are speeding, you WILL be caught, we guarantee it."  He channeled George Zimmer at The Men's Wearhouse, but his threat wouldn't adorn you in nice new threads, but a pin stripe prison uniform!  I already felt like I was guilty!  We decided to take the ferry instead...but we weren't safe there either!

We spent Australia Day on a little island in the Harbour, so ferrying to and fro was really our only form of transportation.  As we disembarked the ferry after arriving home in Manly we filed out with the throngs of other passengers and were met with a salmon swimming up stream, but this salmon was a police dog and handler.  The dog made his way through the crowd on alert  - he was on duty.  His nose found something interesting in a woman's purse and the police pulled her aside and began to search her bag.  Mark and I stopped to watch the scene; we were stunned.  At an airport I can understand, but at a ferry terminal, really?!

In a country that outlawed automatic weapons after the Port Arthur massacre, which my liberal views COMPLETELY support, I see a country that appreciates the rights of the greater good rather than the individual.  In theory I believe in this because I feel what is best for everyone is (most-likely) best for me.  I have nothing to hide, and I'm such a rule follower - to a fault - that I'm not threatened by extreme laws, but they do infringe on an individuals rights - although those are just rights I'm used to as an American.  Ah shit, again, what are my rights...?!  To be continued...